Day 4 (16/4/2009)

This morning, as usual, i drive to work and listen to radio. As usual.

When jam, i start to take out bread and eat.

When music come in my ears, i eating bread while another hand on sterling, some tears get into my eyes without asking permission.

I concerntrate to eat my bread, and the tears concerntrate to drop down.

Every bite, there is a tear drop. I duno is the bread too tasty or the music too sentimental.

I am not crying, just the tears drop down.

I try to live follow own feeling.

I eat when i when i feel wana eat even i not feel hungry.

I continue to eat when i full just because i wish to eat.

Then i start to suffer from over eating. I wish to volmit. But i didn't.

I work as i want. I try not to have to many own time.

I back home early. Because i feel i dun wan to work longer. (or because u told me to back home early the last time we together?)

i drive in jam. I hate jam. Why i wan to go back home so early and meet the jam.

I continue driving.

I don't wan to think so much, but when i pass by toll with touch n go, i know who top it up for me.

Almost reach home, finally.

I start to think what to do tomorrow.

Before this, when i down i like to be alone.

Now, i wish i wont have so many alone time.

Because when there are others around, i will use to pretend tough, and nothing happen.

After some time, i think i will get use with it and start to be real tough.

Beside the tears, i am OK.

Beside torturing myself, i am OK.

I am OK.

Yes, I am.