A lazy day

风轻轻地吹过脸庞, 吹起耳边的短发.
不晒的阳光,很温暖,很舒服.
如果可以什么都不做,写意的坐在长板櫈上.
静静地享受一个下午, 或哪怕只是一下.

Wonderful Sunday

I am so happy for the 'new' change. I know both of us try our very best to get a new start.
Now only i realize, last time, i try to be with him the whole Sat and Sun and he try to do that as well because both of us though the other would like us to be accopany.
Yesterday, we just had a walk in Low Yatt for his pc accessories and Carefour for my shopping.
We back our own home after that. That time was only 3 something which is quite rare happen to us that we back home so early for our own.
He told me he is very happy that i can let him go home early.
I am happy that i can go bach home early to do my things as well.
So time the whole day down event without going out, he may tired and i may have not enough time for my own things.
I guess this is the best way for the moment.
This is what i want for all the while. Where we can have time together and have time for our own.

The night i was out with my friends for dinner. I love to have such gathering with my friends too.
We have a satisfy Korean food and nice chat.
We plan for few trip and i really hope i can join all.

That was a nice Sunday.
And for today, i have a new mission, my diet start.
I hope can catch my target by my birthday.

Decission

Finally i made a decission which is all difference with what i tell myself all these days.

I give myself, him and ourselves another last chance.

because that moment, suddenly i discover that effort from 1 site without communication will only make ppl tired and lead to give up.

This time, we have a serious talk and we agree to truely communicate, at least he is willing to try to express himself although he may not good in it.

After all i still believe that he loves me.

Ans no doubt, i love him much.

Life have no second chance, so i hope i can give my relationship a last chance while i still can.

I hope this is a wise decission and please bless me.

If success, i win a happy life, if not, at least i tried.

Day 5 (17/4/09)

It is another day. Time pass just not that fast when you want it to pass faster. But it get passed away very fast when you concerntrate to do something.
I don't know what are you thinking all these days. Are you also agree with my suggestion and decission? I think this seem like really not affecting your life. It is great, I think. If you are not really suffer for it. It is better only 1 person being suffer than 2 people. I know i will recover. I did it last time although last time I was just not that in love.
I wondering how to pass my coming weekend.
I may want go shopping?
I may want bring Dong Dong to have a walk and take some picture for him?
May be at the end i will just stay at home and do nothing...

Friday again

So fast, it come to Friday again. A week had passed by.
When i get older, i really feel time flying by. My time is not counting by day, is counting by week or even month.
Last Friday was the last lunch i have with u. Yes, may be we will still having lunch together in the future. I dare not to say for tomorrow things.
During the last lunch, you didn;t say much as you always.
What I can remember was you keep say I am stupid because never set the venue to be in shoping complex so that we can eat sushi and continue with some shoping since i have 2 hour lunch.
If time can be revise, would you change all ur "stupid" to be come "I love you"?
Will look at me more often, will u spent more time to look at me but not to complain the food?
Will you join me in the conversation but not leave me seeking for topic which you may interested with?
I think you have no answer for this as well.
Nevermind, because whatever had passed by can't be changed.
Very soon, another week will go and days just continue and we still alive.
By the way, i never unhappy with your trip to go Ipoh. I understand and happy for you to have some activities with colleague.
I know you must be very lonely and boring during my away to Sabah. Thats why you keep mention it to convince yourself to go Ipoh and leave me in KL.
I am really ok with it. Our quarrel is never because of this.

Day 4 (16/4/2009)

This morning, as usual, i drive to work and listen to radio. As usual.

When jam, i start to take out bread and eat.

When music come in my ears, i eating bread while another hand on sterling, some tears get into my eyes without asking permission.

I concerntrate to eat my bread, and the tears concerntrate to drop down.

Every bite, there is a tear drop. I duno is the bread too tasty or the music too sentimental.

I am not crying, just the tears drop down.

I try to live follow own feeling.

I eat when i when i feel wana eat even i not feel hungry.

I continue to eat when i full just because i wish to eat.

Then i start to suffer from over eating. I wish to volmit. But i didn't.

I work as i want. I try not to have to many own time.

I back home early. Because i feel i dun wan to work longer. (or because u told me to back home early the last time we together?)

i drive in jam. I hate jam. Why i wan to go back home so early and meet the jam.

I continue driving.

I don't wan to think so much, but when i pass by toll with touch n go, i know who top it up for me.

Almost reach home, finally.

I start to think what to do tomorrow.

Before this, when i down i like to be alone.

Now, i wish i wont have so many alone time.

Because when there are others around, i will use to pretend tough, and nothing happen.

After some time, i think i will get use with it and start to be real tough.

Beside the tears, i am OK.

Beside torturing myself, i am OK.

I am OK.

Yes, I am.

Tears drop

Did u hear that? the sound of tears droping?